- Anecdotes in English

Anecdotes in English

LaBishop: - Watson, do you like anecdotes? - Well... - There's one... Good Morning, Inspector! Sam _______ "It's my neighbour VonBork; he think's he's buying honey from the apiary and he's using counterfeit money." "I don't understand, Holmes; counterfeit money?" "Oh, Watson, do you think I'm an idiot? He's buying fake honey with fake money!" Sam

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LaBishop: - Watson, where did you get so loaded? - Holmes! I... Me.. Hic! My wife fooled me around!!! - Well, - Holmes thought sadly, - Home life influences logic so badly. I asked WHERE but not WHY. Sam

maut: LaBishop : - Watson, where did you get so loaded? - Holmes! I... Me.. Hic! My wife fooled me around!!! - Well, - Holmes thought sadly, - Home life influences logic so badly. I asked WHERE but not WHY. - Watson, where did you get so tipsy? - Holmes! I... Me.. Hic! My wife've fooled me around!!! - Now I see, - Holmes thought sadly,- that family life influences logical thinking negativly. I' ve asked WHERE , not WHY.

-Morse: , SAM : , , Well, Watson, and where did your Copernicus live? In Poland Seems, Irene Adler too lived in Poland Aha! She sang in Warsaws Opera House Hmm Well, Watson, so lets assume that your Copernicus is right ----------------------------------------------- "Mr. Holmes, your skull could be a treasure of any Museum of Antropology". "May be, Dr. Mortimer, - said Mycroft, taking off the gas-mask". ----------------------------------------------- Sherlock Holmes is experimenting on the rats. Holmes, why does Stamford dislike you? Why do you think so, Watson? Just he said of you well instance, that you just may to prick to your friend some unexplored Alkaloid to trace the consequences of it. By the way, its good idea! ----------------------------------------------- Here is the council of the producers with censors. No, no, no! Your film will be banned! Why? Seems, Sherlock Holmes is a positive man, a good chap, but he exploits kids labour! And he refused to give a cigar as the pay for labour to the Baker Street Irregulars. I may say more: he did it in cynic form! The censor himself has cut short the death silence: Aha! Frightened?! Dont worry. Its joke. ----------------------------------------------- Here is Holmess apiary. Holmes, explain me, please. Why have you, being the detective and chemic, become as professional bee-keeper? No, Watson, Im just amateur. The professional bee-keepers get not only a honey, but wax, propolis, perga etc even a poison! But do you get only a honey? Only poison ----------------------------------------------- Professor Moriarty has come to Dr. Mortimer. Mortimer is making the examination of new patient: Wow! Your skull, Professor, could be a treasure for any Museum of Anthropology. Moriarty is puzzled. Here is Sherlock Holmess voice from the flue: Dont worry, Professor, he usually says it to everyone. ----------------------------------------------- You see it, Watson? he yelled. You see it? A snake? Many timesIn Afghanistan ---------------------------------------------- - , : Holmes and Watson had spent the night in the middle of Devonshire moors. Woken up at midnight, Watson looks at the starry sky and asks to Holmes: Holmes! About what do you think, when you look those stars? Elementary, Watson! I think that our tent has been stolen! ----------- Surprised Mrs. Hudson lay the table and asks to Watson: Doctor, did you really not drown self in the toilet bowl tonight? What ever gave you that idea?! Mr. Holmes was look strange tonight, he bent above the toilet bowl and cried out: Wa-a-a-atson! Wa-a-a-atson! ----------- Mrs. Hudson was taken ill. Doctor Watson asks her to show to him the tongue. "You see the medicine has taken a big step forward!" "What do you mean?" "During your youth, Mrs. Hudson, Doctors asked you to get undressed. At present, you only have to show your tongue". ----------- Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson have filled hound of Baskrvilles with petrol. Hound covers some distance and crashed down. "What is happened, Holmes?" "Elementary, Watson! Petrol ran out". ----------- Watson walks on the footpath in the middle of the moors. Suddenly he sees that hound of Baskervilles run to meet him. "Bravo, Holmes!" Watson joyfully exclaims. "I always was amazed at your talents to be transformed and disguised. ----------- Doctor Watson ran into debt for his room to Mrs. Hudson, borrowed much money from Holmes and disappeared suddenly. Lonely and melancholy Sherlock Holmes has lunch and complains to Mrs. Hudson, who has take away the plate: "At last time, I don't like him..." "If you don't like him... Don't eat!" ----------------------------------------------- , : http://alek-morse.livejournal.com : http://alek-morse.livejournal.com/tag/anecdotes

Sam: ( ) - Two tickets to Dublin. - , ? - To Dublin.

Dutchman: brutality, - ( ): Holmes and Watson came up to the door of their living, being drunk as a fiddlers. They couldn`t find the key to open the door. They were fumbling about in the pockets for the key by making a lot of noise. This was heard by mrs Hudson. She peeped out of window above and cried out in resentment: Gentlemen! Don`t you have the key? H & W: yeah, we have it! Send us down your fuckin` key-hole!

LaBishop: Dutchman : H & W: yeah, we have it! Send us down your fuckin` key-hole! I wonder what's the english word for ''?

maut: LaBishop : I wonder what's the english word for ''? accordion

Dutchman: LaBishop : I wonder what's the english word for ''? Hell catch you talking cleverly! More than half of Holmes anecdotes is for the most part: '' !

erno: In English "" AKA "old stupid joke" is wheeze or stale joke.

LaBishop: erno : Hell catch you talking cleverly! More than half of Holmes anecdotes is for the most part: '' ! You're right, of course. Visitors of this forum, however, are pretty whimsical . They do prefer original works. Just don't take offence, OK?

LaBishop: erno : In English "" AKA "old stupid joke" is wheeze or stale joke. Multitran.ru rules, I'm impressed!

Dutchman: LaBishop : Just don't take offence, OK? Never Sir! Since my quick-wittedned leaves to be desired the best, that was the only thing i could add up.

-Morse: , Sam' . - , , ( ) . : Hello! Is it the LenFilm studio? Yes, it is. Do you need for the consultant for shooting of The Engineers Thumb? Yes, we do. Are you the specialist in hydraulic press? To be honest, I get by without the press. When Lady Hucksley has shot Milverton, she slipped on the cartridge-case and fell down on the table, then got dirty with bloody stains and left the clear finger-prints. She took out the handkerchief decorated by your initials, wiped own hand and then hurriedly moved away, be dropped the pistol and be forgotten the handkerchief on the table. Behind the curtain, Holmes delightedly whispers Watson: A Lady! A true lady in everything she does! Both Holmes and Watson come in the cosy sitting-room of The Diogenes Club. A several gentlemen silently are reading The Times. One from them is in the gas-mask. Cached Watsons perplexed view, Holmes whispers: Only here nobody pesters to Mycroft with silly questions Sherlock Holmes puts on his overcoat. Watson, dont forget your army revolver! Is it dangerous case? Watson! Do you think a revolver is a toy?! Mrs. Hudsons voice: By the way, Mr. Holmes, I always say the same you! In that sad day, Holmes was forced to shot more than usually: he did the funeral frame around V.R. Barrymore! Why do you shine a torch in the window? Sir I... I'm scaring off the Hound of the Baskervilles. Are dogs really afraid of light? No, they aren't, sir. They can't stand kerosene. But you are just holding a candle, not a kerosene lamp. Well, the hound can't tell from this far away, sir. Sir Henry takes a participation in the round-the world voyage. Barrymore! Porridge again?! Is at a lunch-time?! Now a breakfast time is, sir. Why?! What is compliance in?! Its in compliance Greenwich, sir! Watson, can you imagine? There is no murder in London during this week! Holmes, you are reading the last years The Times! Ha! Do you really suppose that the todays newspaper is better? Mrs. Watson: John, what is emancipation? Oh, you see, Mary But whom did you hear it from? From Mr. Holmes Holmes! Tell me, please, whom did YOU hear it from? From Irene Adler Hmm Mary, obviously, its an operatic term. The next joke is the gift by Sam to me I live in Ural Sherlock Holmes presented to Watson the beautiful statuette of Kaslis cast as a Birthday gift. Thank you, Watson! Interesting, where they do such beautiful things? In Ural Where is? Its location where Europe ends. Oh Probably, is it very far from us? Decently When we have middays launch, they have five oclock. Hmm Watson Perhaps, your Copernicus is right James! What are the dancing men? Its unicode, sir! --------------------------------------------- -: - (, - -) . , - ( ). - gaslitlondon : , , , . , gaslitlondon ( ). - "" : ", ? !" ... , , -/ (?) Wolfie_Sara ( ). , , : http://alek-morse.livejournal.com/tag/anecdotes -, : http://community.livejournal.com/221b_bakerst/330867.html Holmesian.net http://www.holmesian.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=810&st=180

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Sam: -Morse : Sherlock Holmes presented to Watson the beautiful statuette , : Watson presented to Holmes?

-Morse: Sam : . - ( ) ... : Watson presented to Sherlock Holmes the beautiful statuette of Kaslis cast as a Birthday gift. Thank you, Watson! Interesting, where they do such beautiful things? In Ural Where is? Its location where Europe ends. Oh Probably, is it very far from us? Decently When we have middays launch, they have five oclock. Hmm Watson Perhaps, your Copernicus is right , , ""